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Ways to Achieve a Page 3 Celebrity Status

Kashmira Lad
Are you waiting to be featured amongst the glitzy stars? Here are some important pointers that could help you in your quest.
In Hollywood or even in Bollywood, it does not matter if you are not known for your talent; all you need are some clever tricks up your sleeve. On that note, we devised some easy steps for wannabes out there to achieve the so coveted celebrity status.
Be present at the most happening parties, whether you have a personal invite or manage to steal one from someone's desk. Ensure you flash yourself before the cameras and stand next to one celebrity at least, so that you can be featured in the next day's edition and news channels.
Wear the most hideous garments and label it as designer wear, even if it was your mom's high school outfit. Make a combination of outrageous clothing gear and ensure you stand out for all the wrong reasons. Chances are, there will be a lot of appreciation for the horrendous designer wear!
Walk in with somebody else's boyfriend and claim to be 'just friends'. This trick surely works, as you increase speculations amongst the grapevine.
Talk with a fake accent and show off a fake tan. Proclaim you are just back from that gorgeous beach in Hawaii, and gush about how your fans mobbed you there (even if the birds did not even notice your presence!)
From amongst 5 events you attend, ensure you have at least one wardrobe malfunction. In this manner, you will secure the front page headings for a few days at least!
Flaunt your boyfriend/girlfriend on your shoulder. Few days later, have a public brawl with him/her. Kiss and make up a week later. You will be flashed on all the gossip columns for sure!
Launch your own line of clothing. Talk incessantly before the cameras about your love for clothes and fashion design. Send special invites to the press, and ensure that you include a gift to confirm their attendance. However, make sure you snip off the labels from the 'designer wear' to avoid giving away the name of the supplier.
Tell a sob story to the media. Go on and on about your humble backgrounds, and how you want to make it on your own in the entertainment world without any Godfather.
Organize charity functions. Ensure your photographs are clicked while donating money to institutions to display your humane side!
Carry a pooch in your bag! Talk about your love for animals; but a word of warning here! Make sure you avoid those non-vegetarian food dishes in public.
Deny any cosmetic enhancements for the body. Dedicate your pure, natural, and beautiful frame to your mother/father/grandfather, etc! Don't forget to pay the cosmetologist though!

If these tips don't work, perhaps you should focus on your talent! You might just get lucky!