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Ten Funny Ways to Order a Pizza

Aparna Jadhav
Ordering a pizza is just an insignificant activity, but it can be made funny and enjoyable. The following story lists many fun and funny ways to order pizza.
Messing with the pizza guys is always a fun thing to do when you're sitting with friends and doing absolutely nothing. There are many hilarious ways of ordering a pizza, which do not have to be mean, but just a healthy joke pulled on the person who answers your call.
However, keep in mind that if you can pull a joke on a person, then you should also be able to apologize.

Ten Fun Ways to Order a Pizza

When you are ordering a pizza, the person on the other end of the phone doesn't know who you are. When you call a pizza place, usually all you do is give them your order and address, tell them the add-ons, and hang up. However, just throwing a funny opening line, or ending with a stupid note can make a person laugh and give you a different way of ordering pizza.
Following are ten such ways to order a pizza, that sound absolutely absurd but are still funny.
  1. Ask them who invented the pizza.
  2. Ask to see a menu.
  3. Change your accent every three seconds.
  4. Order a steamed pizza.
  • Order with a Speak-n-Spell, where applicable.
  • Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, and then behave as if they called you.
  • Tell the order-taker that a rival pizza place is on the other line, and you are going with the lowest bidder.
  • When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
  • When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more 'oomph' this time."
  • When you are given the total cost of your order, say, "Whooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

Best Ways to Order a Pizza

Here are some more options that you can try. Find the ones you like the most, and use them to have fun. You can also add some of your own one liners.
  • After placing, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does.", and cut the call.
  • Ask for the guy who took your order the last time.
  • Ask what the order-taker is wearing.
  • Call to complain about the service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
  • Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I?".
  • Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!", and hang up.
  • If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words".
  • If they repeat your order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window".
  • Make a list of exotic cuisines and order them as toppings.
  • Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
  • Move the mouthpiece farther and farther away from yourself as you speak. When the call ends, bring the mouthpiece back into place and scream 'goodbye' at the top of your lungs.
  • Put them on hold every time they are repeating your order (this one is annoying).
  • Rent a Pizza.
  • Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry".
  • State your order and say "That's as far as this relationship is going to get".
  • Stutter on the letter 'p'.
  • Tell the order taker that you are depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
  • Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
  • When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?".
  • When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now. Who are you?".
  • Yodel your order.
With these ideas and a few of your own, you can make ordering pizza a funny and enjoyable experience.